


He Loved You 3,000

by StateOfEmilyGrace



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Grief, Iron dad and Spider son, Irondad, Mourning, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers:Endgame, Written after Endgame, coping with loss, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 08:17:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19902637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StateOfEmilyGrace/pseuds/StateOfEmilyGrace
Summary: *Written after seeing Endgame, forgotten about, then posted three months later*Peter’s world crumbles when he comes back in 2023. Luckily, he has people to help him carry on.





	He Loved You 3,000

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so I wrote this after seeing Endgame and then ignored its existence for three months. The movie took a huge toll on me, so I’m only just getting back onto Ao3. I hope you guys enjoy this. (It alludes to ffh but that was even before the second trailer dropped so I had nothing to go off)

He Loved You 3000 🕸

Everything hurt. 

_It was all a blur, too._

_Ash, ash, and more ash. Then nothing. Sheer, complete nothingness with a hint of orange. Then Doctor Strange over him. Then the portals, and the battle, and Mr. Stark-_

_The hug. The kiss on his cheek that spoke volumes more than the man could ever say with words. The look in Mr. Stark’s eyes. The relief._

_-and then fighting and Captain America and the Black Panther and the gauntlet and the glowing woman..._

It all happened so fast, but now it was over. He had watched their enemies turn to dust in a painfully familiar way, and the only thought going through his head was to find Mr. Stark. 

Shakily, Peter rose to his feet. He could feel his face swelling, and the blood spilling from his nose, but it didn’t matter. Yeah, his insides felt like mush and he definitely had some fractured bones, but they would heal. What really mattered was that they won,  they won , and he needed to find Mr. Stark. 

_That hug, that kiss on his cheek that spoke volumes, that look in Mr. Stark’s eyes, that relief..._

Peter wanted more of it. He  needed more of it. He needed Mr. Stark. He needed Tony. 

Maybe the man could tell him how it all ended. Who snapped and turned the bad guys to ash? Was anyone hurt? 

He had never seen so many heroes in one place before. It was overwhelming, but really freaking cool. Peter made a mental note to freak out about that with Ned later. He had fought side-by-side with everyone from Pepper Pots to an blue alien robot woman. His friend would  _freak_ . But first: he wanted details from Mr. Stark, and maybe another hug. The hug was nice. 

Was he shaking? He was definitely shaking. Peter wished it was from excitement, but that definitely wasn’t it. It probably had something to do with the ringing in his ears and the near-death experience that had been his last few hours. (Or did he die? How did that work?) 

_Don’t think about that yet, Peter. Just find Mr. Stark._

The teen shot a web at the nearest overhanging debris and let momentum carry him through a deep swing. As he flew upwards, he released the web with a sweep of adrenaline and let himself free-fall to the ground where he saw War Machine crouching down next to Mr. Stark. 

The second his feet hit the rubble, it felt as though the world had stopped turning. Because there he was. There was Mr. Stark, but half of his body was charred black and his eyes looked lifeless. 

Just like that, everything around Peter froze. 

“Mr. Stark?” He panted, chest getting tighter by the moment. He found himself stumbling towards his mentor, his role-model, his hero, his  _father_ ...

Because that’s what he practically was, right? Peter wouldn’t admit it out loud for a million dollars but he couldn’t ignore the way the man had crept his way into his life. He couldn’t just overlook the way he felt like Mr. Stark was family, especially when he was in such a short supply of that exact thing. 

_Oh, God, be okay, Mr. Stark..._

The closer Peter got, the more the billionaire looked as though he was clinging to his final few seconds of life. He looked Mr. Stark over again, noticing the gauntlet on the man’s hand, and the soft, colorful glow of the Infinity Stones within it. 

Peter’s stomach knotted. He knew what it meant but he also refused to look truth in the eye. Mr. Stark was made of iron. Everything would be okay. He was always okay. He personally flew a nuke into a wormhole and he made it out alive. He’d make it through this. 

“Hey!” Peter breathed, crouching in front of the man. 

Tony was silent, eyes staring somewhere off in the distance. 

Peter’s chest tightened even further. 

Why was it so hard to breathe? He couldn’t breathe. Why wouldn’t the man answer him? Why wouldn’t he look at him? 

“Mr. Stark, can you hear me?” He heard his voice asking as he reached forward and gripped onto the man’s chest piece.

_Look at me, Mr. Stark. Please, look at me._

“It’s Peter.” He tried, and the man’s eyes finally found his. 

_Thank God._

Relief flooded Peter’s body. It was a tiny, minuscule amount but it was enough for him to crack a comforting smile and to keep speaking. 

_Maybe he’s okay. Keep trying. Keep speaking. Maybe he’s okay._

“We won, Mr. Stark.” He told his hero. 

But the life was quickly leaving the man’s eyes. 

_No no nonononononononononono..._

“We won, Mr. Stark.” He repeated, selfishly hopeful that maybe, just maybe... 

But Mr. Stark’s expression didn’t change. All that was there was pain and exhaustion, and Peter knew he wasn’t doing a good enough job. 

He couldn’t help the way his face crumbled as he continued to beg the man to hold on. 

“We won. You did it, sir. You did it.” He said as metallic hands began to pull him back. He knew what it meant without having to ask. 

_It means he’s going to die._

_No._

_No, this can’t be it. This can’t be how this ends._

_I just got back. I just got back to him!_

He held the man’s armor a bit tighter, unable to see straight as his eyes suddenly filled with tears. 

_Hold on._

Peter became painfully aware painfully quickly that whatever he said next would be the his last words to Mr. Stark. 

_ Oh God, please,  no.  _

He felt his voice shaking before he even got the words out. It was the only thing he could say- the only thing that could possibly be an attempt at making up for all he had not been able to do for that man. For not being good enough. For not being “better.” For screwing up over and over again. For not listening, and for going to Titan where he would die in the man’s arms, leaving him with an unimaginable burden. For not being enough right then and there to save one of the last people Peter had left...

“I’m sorry, Tony...” he choked out.

And, God, he was so sorry. 

Peter reluctantly let the arms pull him back and prop him on his feet. He hardly felt it, anyway. All he could feel was a deep ache in his chest and an intense screaming in his head that was shouting “NO NO NO!” on repeat. 

And the boy watched helplessly... hopelessly... as Pepper Potts comforted her husband. 

“Hey, Pep...” he heard the man say, and surely only because of his advanced hearing. No words had ever been spoken with so much pain and effort. 

Peter bit down on his lip, trying not to scream in agony so that he could listen to the sound of the man’s breaths. 

_Cherish them. Remember them._

And he watched...

He watched as the light in the arc reactor flickered out. 

He heard the silence that should have been filled by another raspy breath. 

And he felt the weight of loss fall over him with a swooping force that robbed the air from his own lungs. 

And Peter’s knees collapsed under him as the world collapsed around him. 

He was curled up in a pair of Tony’s clothes when he felt like he could breathe again. 

Pepper had taken some of them back to her house. Specifically, she took the ones that weren’t from Space or Wakanda. Peter wished he felt awe while surrounded by the Avengers, but instead he felt numb, distant, broken...

He was curled up on the corner of the couch as all the adults spoke about the “what’s next”of the situation. In his hands was the Iron Spider suit, and the original suit tony had made him knotted up with it. They weren’t exactly stuffed animals, but Tony had made them for him, and he couldn’t help but clutch onto them for dear life. 

May was on her way over to get him, and if Peter didn’t feel so absent, he would be bouncing on his toes with the eagerness of seeing his aunt again. She had mentioned briefly over the phone that other people had moved into their apartment while they had been gone. Did that mean he lost all of his belongings? All of Ben’s? His parent’s? Anything he had left of them? Was it all gone? 

He wondered how many of his classmates had been snapped out of existence. Had Ned? Had MJ? He wished they hadn’t been, but the idea of continuing school without his only few friends was a nightmare of its own. 

All of it was a nightmare. He just wanted to wake up. 

“So you’re the kid?” A deep voice asked from next to him. Peter’s red, puffy eyes left the wooden floorboards and found Captain America. 

Peter knew he should be more starstruck, but instead all he could do was ask “what?” 

“Queens?” Steve raised his eyebrows, and Peter nodded. Sighing, the man sat on a nearby chair and looked at Peter in a way that made him self conscious of just how childish he looked. 

“You fought bravely. Tony would be proud.” The captain said, a sympathetic smile on his face. 

Peter’s eyes drifted back to the ground and he clenched his jaw, determined not to cry when he had finally just stopped. 

“You meant a lot to him. He talked about you...not so much to me, but to the others...” Steve continued. 

Peter felt bad for thinking it, but he really wanted the guy to leave him alone. Crying in front of Captain America wasn’t exactly on his bucket list. 

“I see you two have officially met.” The familiar voice of Happy Hogan (just much more solemn and hoarse) said. Peter felt the couch sink a bit next to him as Happy sat. 

“He loved you, Kid.” Happy said quietly, “even listened to all those voicemails you sent me out of his own free will. He looked forward to them, actually...”

Peter pressed his lips together, barely holding on by a thread. 

“Petey?” A small voice then asked. Peter looked to its source and saw a little girl staring at him with wide, innocent eyes. In her arms, she clutched an Iron Man doll. 

_So this must be her..._

“Oh-honey!” Pepper Potts suddenly hurried into the room, followed by Rhodey and Clint. 

The woman crouched down in front of her daughter and ran her hands through her soft brown hair. 

“I told you I’d be right up.” Pepper said softly. 

“But I don’t wanna sleep, mommy. And-and I think that’s Petey, mommy...” Morgan looked past her mom and pointed at Peter. 

Pepper sighed and looked back at the boy. “Yes, honey, that’s Peter.” 

“Dadda said he was gone.”

Peter’s stomach clenched. Tony talked about him? To his daughter? 

“Dadda saved him. He brought Peter back.”

_But I couldn’t save him in return._

“Does that mean I get to have a brother?” Morgan asked, “Dadda said he was my brother.”

Peter’s teeth were clamped together as he held onto his calm facade with all his might. It was slowly slipping through his fingertips, though. 

“Why don’t you ask Peter yourself?”

Morgan peered around her mother again then started to tiptoe towards Peter. 

“Petey?” She asked. “Spider-Man?”

Peter uncurled himself a bit and nodded. 

“Do you get to be my brother now?”

_Don’t you dare cry, Peter Parker. Pull yourself together. Everyone else has stopped crying, at least for now. They’ve all known him for over a decade. You’ve only known him for a fraction of that time._

“If you want.” He managed to get out. 

Morgan smiled. 

“Dadda talked about you a lot. He told me you were my big brother but that you were lost and he needed to find you.” She told Peter. 

And that’s where he lost it. 

One tear fell. Then two. Then three. 

He pressed his lips together as tightly as humanly possible, desperately trying to hold it all in, but it was no use. 

He felt Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, Clint Barton, and Steve Rogers all watching him with sympathy. Morgan, though...she just frowned. It was like she sensed his pain, and wanted to end it. 

Wordlessly, the little girl climbed up into Peter’s lap and curled into him, nuzzling her face in his chest. 

For a moment, Peter felt dumbstruck, but then he found his arms wrapping tightly around the little girl. 

This is his daughter. She’s like a little piece of him. Hold tightly. 

You might have lost a father-figure tonight, but she lost her father. Hold tightly. 

She’s here in your arms and she’s real. She’s alive, and breathing, and  _innocent_ . Hold tightly. 

“He loved you 3,000, Peter. I could tell.” She said. 

Peter broke. 

A tearful laugh escaped his lips, and the floodgates opened. Peter pressed his face into Morgan’s hair, shoulders shaking with sobs. 

Pepper put a hand over her mouth, her own eyes getting wet again. Happy sniffled next to him. 

Peter clung tightly to Morgan like she was one of the last glimmers of hope left in his life, and he cried. 

It was nearly a month later when Pepper Potts showed up at his apartment, Morgan settled on her hip. 

May had told the woman that Peter needed time, and Pepper had given him just that. She understood, after all. She knew how it felt to have a Tony Stark sized hole in your heart. But after everything that happened on Peter’s school trip to Europe, he had been thrust back into his normal life whether he wanted to be or not. 

And he was a little bit more okay than he had been. As much as he had been desperately avoiding putting that suit on- the suit  Tony made him- unless he absolutely had to, the feeling of being a hero pulled him out of the black hole he had been stuck in for weeks. 

Happy had been keeping close tabs. In fact, he had been one of the few people that had been able to help Peter carry on in the immediate aftermath. If Peter tried to finally throw in the towel because  _it hurt, God it hurt_ , Happy wouldn’t let him. The man kept him rooted in the mindset of “what Tony would’ve wanted.” 

He even had a thing going with May, which Peter found weird at first, but it made the adults feel a little less alone and Peter couldn’t help but be glad for them. Things were starting to feel normal again. He was home, and he felt as close to happy as he had been since Thanos. 

And so, after four weeks of Morgan bugging her about it, Pepper had finally payed Peter Parker a visit. 

“Pepper! Hi!” May smiled when she opened the door. 

From his bedroom, Peter took his eyes off his chemistry homework and sat up straighter. He gripped his pencil a bit tighter as he listened to the sound of the two people entering the apartment. 

Was he ready to face them? 

No, of course not. He never would be. He would never look at Morgan or Pepper again and not see the man he loved and lost. But when May called his name, he couldn’t keep himself in his seat. No matter how badly he was hurting, he didn’t have the right to turn away the people who - by blood and marriage - had more right to feel upset than him. And, God, he hated the pang of jealousy and anger that coursed through him at that thought. It was small, and he knew it was irrational, but it would always be there in the back of his mind.

Because no matter how many days, months, years, or decades went by, he would never feel like he had enough time with the man. Tony was yet another victim of the curse that was his existence. 

Peter Parker: the kid destined to lose all of the people he loved. 

But he still had people left, and he couldn’t help but selfishly cling to more and more when they came along. So he found his feet walked down the hall towards Pepper, Morgan, and May whether he thought it was a good idea or not. 

“Peter!” Morgan yelped with excitement when she spotted him. Pepper gently put her down and the little girl immediately ran towards Peter. 

The teen got down on one knee and braced for impact with his arms wide. The little girl curled around him like a Koala bear, and he held her back tightly. For a moment, he had to close his eyes and take a steadying breath, trying to forget Tony and to focus on  her , because she was her own person ,  but it was so hard. 

“I’ve missed you, Petey.” Morgan mumbled. “Why didn’t you visit me?” 

Peter’s heart broke a bit at that, so many things going through his head. 

_I was avoiding you._

_I didn’t mean to hurt you._

_I only wanted to breathe. I couldn’t breathe._

_I missed your hugs but you reminded me of him... too much of him._

“I was away.” Peter answered quietly. 

Pepper crouched down in front of him, sympathy in her eyes. 

“I hope it’s alright that we stopped by. That little princess in your arms has been driving me crazy with the ‘I want to see Peter’’s and the ‘I miss Spider-Man’’s.” Pepper sighed, “plus, I can practically hear Tony yelling at me to stop letting you save the world underprepared.” 

Peter winced at bit upon hearing the man’s name, but was more focused on what exactly Pepper had said. 

“Un-unprepared?” He asked, eyebrows knitted together. 

Pepper only give him a soft smile, then stood. 

Peter wrapped his arms more tightly around Morgan and stood up too, holding her against him as he watched Pepper dig through her tote bag. 

When she turned around, she had a badge in her hand. 

“Tony wanted you to have full access to his lab. Only you. It’s yours now, Peter.” Pepper held the little piece of plastic out to him. “When you get there, FRIDAY can set up a more efficient security system. Tony always said badges were old school.”

Peter had to put Morgan down out of the fear of dropping her with shock. She still stuck close, though, keeping a steady presence against his side. 

Peter hesitantly took the badge, hands suddenly shaking. 

“H-how do you know? Why...why me?” Peter asked. 

“Because he told me in one of the hundreds of video messages he had stored in case of his...you know... anyway, this one was filmed years ago. Before Thanos. Before all of it.”

Peter admired the woman’s ability to stay collected, because he was definitely on the verge of tears again. 

“ _Hundreds_ _?_ ” He asked, voice cracking.

Pepper nodded, turning to her bag again. This time, she pulled out a Stark tablet. Peter expected her to just pull up one video and send him a link. Instead, she handed him the whole thing. 

He couldn’t bring himself to ask. His throat was already stuck. May came to his aid, wrapping a comforting arm around his should as he let Pepper place the tablet in his hands. 

“What is that?” His aunt asked for him, and Peter was thankful because his jaw was stuck in place. 

Pepper only looked down for a moment, swallowing. She took a steadying breath, and when she looked back up, her eyes were as misty as Peter’s. 

“It, um... it helped him cope... those five years he, uh.... he talked to you a lot. There are a few that are more recent...” she said quietly, and Peter felt the wall he had been able to start building again crumble to ash. 

“I haven’t watched them,” Pepper continued, “but sometimes I could hear him recording them...in your room.” 

Peter looked up at the woman again, ignoring the tears dripping down his cheeks. Pepper knew his question before he had to ask. 

“He made sure the house was built with a guest room. He insisted it was just a generic guest room. But he kept some stuff in there for you and he always got tense when people stayed in there.” She said, sniffling. 

“When I asked him where big brother Petey would stay when he got back from being gone, he said it was Petey’s room.” Morgan then told her mom, wrapping her arms around one of Peter’s legs. 

“I rest my case... he needed you back Peter. He always needed you back. He couldn’t have ever lived with himself knowing he could’ve done more.” 

Peter vaguely felt May holding him a bit tighter, but there it was: he couldn’t breathe again. 

God, he couldn’t breathe. 

May’s hands were on his shoulders, he knew they were hers, but at some point he had closed his eyes. 

“You’re okay, honey. You’re okay. Deep breath.” She assured him.

He tried to breathe. He tried the  in, out, in, out that was always thrust upon him when he realized just how hard it was for him to be alive with so much pain. 

“Look at me, Peter.” May said gently but firmly, and Peter reluctantly obeyed. 

“I’m here. You’re here. We’re okay. Breathe with me. You know how.” 

May took his hand and placed it against her chest where he could not only hear the beating of her heart, but feel the rise and fall of her lungs. 

He closed his eyes again and focused on it, letting it ground him. 

“You’re just fine, Peter. You feel that little girl against your leg? She’s fine. You feel me? I’m fine. Pepper?” 

Peter felt a gentle hand against his back. 

“You feel her? She’s fine too. You have us, Peter.” May finished. 

“I shouldn’t.” Peter replied so quietly he wasn’t sure if anyone actually heard it. 

“Peter, look at me.” May repeated, leaving no room for argument. Peter opened his eyes and blinked a few times to clear them up. 

“It wasn’t your fault.” May said sharply, as if forcing the words into his brain. 

“It wasn’t.” Pepper agreed from next to him. 

“I- I should’ve done more. If- if I had gotten the gauntlet to the van...” 

“ _Peter_ .” Pepper said sternly. Her gentle hand held the teen’s chin and turned his head to face her. 

“It had to be Tony.” She said firmly. “Jesus, you know I wish that wasn’t true. You know I wish he could’ve gotten the happy ending he always wanted...but it was who he was... he wouldn’t have let it be anyone else. He had the choice, Peter, and as much as it hurts so damn badly, he chose all of us over himself. He always did.” 

Peter sniffled, feeling unworthy of even shedding a single tear. 

“I wasn’t worth it.” He swallowed. “I didn’t deserve him.” 

Pepper gave him a soft smile, then stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. 

“A very small amount of people in this universe deserved Tony Stark. You were one of them.” She said with a small laugh. 

Peter wrapped his arms around her, and felt May join in on the hug as well. 

“If you aren’t ready, or don’t want to, I understand, but there are five year’s worth of things that Tony would definitely love for you to see. Dumb-E and U miss you, too.” Pepper said softly. 

“They love you 3000.” Morgan added, making Peter laugh lightly, who still trying to stop the flow of tears. 

“Okay.” Peter breathed, nodding. “Okay.” 

**Author's Note:**

> We can’t let irondad die, guys. It’s up to us to keep Peter/Tony fics going forever. 
> 
> Also, has anyone written a fic about what would’ve happened if Peter hadn’t been dusted but May still had? I might write that who knows.


End file.
